There are times when an idyllic childhood in Ireland, even for just a few years, can sustain that child as he grows older, encountering physical abuse and terror. That was so for me between 1949 and 1953. Ireland has been in my heart ever since. My memoir is about a battering alcoholic father who would not accept me as his son. It is about my love of Ireland sustaining me, giving me the courage to fight back against despair, to survive a road accident, to seek a better life through reading and hope and education. It is about a growing awareness of being gay under legal intolerance. It is about never giving up. It is about surviving against the odds.